Importance of the Family

      The age old questions.... "How do you know they are the one?"   When I first thought about this question, I did not know how to answer the question. I mean I have already had a failed marriage. So I am not sure that I could answer the question.    How many times have you heard someone say that it is true love after meeting someone? I know I have.  Don't we all wish that we could have the "true love" the first time out in the dating world? It would make the dating game not such a pain sometimes.  Watching "Frozen" princess Anna falls in love with a amazing young man that she just met. Her sister the queen will not allow her to marry this young man. Anna doesn't understand because she feels that it is true love.  Sometimes as we are going through life we do not understand why others are not happy for our true love story. However, normally they are seeing something that we do not see. But in that time and moment we are not willing to listen or f

  When you hear the word "Jerk" in terms of dating someone? What are you thinking? I know when I think about it there are a few characteristics I can think of.... (please remember a jerk can be a male or a female) Mean, rude, not respectful, full of themselves, thinks they are the cats meow.... I am sure you could add to this list. Normally a jerk has tended to have hurt a person that could be you or someone that you love.  Doctor Van Epp has written a book on "How to Avoid Marrying A Jerk." Gives many example on what a jerk is. Sometimes it is very hard for the person with the jerk to leave. This is because they are nice and do not want hurt the "Jerk."  Doctor Van Epps has a relationship attachment model (RAM) . The model shows the different ranges that are important in a relationship.  Like any model you need to look to see what is best for you and your life long goals. Not every ones goals or what they need in a relationship are the same. With the RAM

     Have you heard the saying "That person is my soul mate?" Have you ever wonder if there is such a thing as a soul mate? I mean as a member of the church we know that families can be together forever as  long as they sealed in the temple. But the question is how do you know if the person is the one or if they are your soul mate.  When looking for someone long term it is important to look at different qualities or characteristics that could be warning flags. Or they could be something that you are looking for. Every person and relationship is different. When we are looking for the one, it is very important to make sure the rose colored glasses have come off.  Chapter 6 in "Successful Marriages and Families: Proclamation Principles and Research Perspectives" talks about how a person can have infidelity with someone they will never meet. An example of this is a famous person. However, this is cheating no matter what. Now a days with all the social media it is becomi

     How do you feel about the word " Sex.... " Are you feeling skirmish yet? It is OK if you are. Many adults and young adults start getting uncomfortable talking about the topic of SEX. Many people do not want to talk to others about sex, not even to a doctor.  However, it is important that we talk about sex with in our families. Now, I know what you are thinking. I am not going to talk with my children or parents about sex.     Being a parent of a young man talking about sex can be uncomfortable for him and I. I grew up in a home that we did not talk about sex at all. To this day my mom spells sex backwards and turns all red. I had the opportunity when I was in High School to go into middle school classrooms to talk about abstinence. The program was called STARS, I am not sure the program is still using that name. This was an amazing program because it was not sex education but help the presenter and the students understand the importance of waiting to have sex.        In

   Have you  seen those couples out to dinner and they sit through the whole meal on their phones? I have! I normally wonder what kind of relationship the couple has since they aren't able to talk just the two of them. I wonder what happened to make them not want to talk with one another.   While dating someone it is important to make sure that you make time for that person.... not your cell phone. It is important to have the human interaction when in a relationship. Part of communicating with someone is picking up on the no verbal communication.  When couples are talking they are making more things to talk about or bringing up ideas to make each other think deeper about a topic.   A lot of times peoples style of communication can be a major issues in a relationship. One major issue for communication is what an equal partnership is in the family unit or even in a relationship. In my own family my dad has said that girls can do anything that a boys can do as far as chores. However,

    Any kind of relationship (parent-child, brother-sister, boyfriend-girlfriend or husband-wife) is not easy. There are going to be good times and bad times. Everyone has to work to make the relationship work.  While dating is the perfect time to find out what kind of relationship you want. What works for one relationship many not work for another relationship. So what works for your parents might not work for your own relationship. Please keep that in mind when you are thinking about how to build and what tools you want to keep in your relationship tool box. Most people now a days have some kind of electronic that can download apps. Dating apps are an easy way to shift thought the fish in the sea without going on a physical date with someone. It is important to remember people are trying to sell themselves to you on a dating app. You want to pick the nice new shinny toy. However, that toy might not have all the things that you were hoping for. Brigham Young University (BYU) school