Dating 105: Searching for long term

 

 

 Have you heard the saying "That person is my soul mate?" Have you ever wonder if there is such a thing as a soul mate? I mean as a member of the church we know that families can be together forever as  long as they sealed in the temple. But the question is how do you know if the person is the one or if they are your soul mate. 

When looking for someone long term it is important to look at different qualities or characteristics that could be warning flags. Or they could be something that you are looking for. Every person and relationship is different. When we are looking for the one, it is very important to make sure the rose colored glasses have come off. 

Chapter 6 in "Successful Marriages and Families: Proclamation Principles and Research Perspectives" talks about how a person can have infidelity with someone they will never meet. An example of this is a famous person. However, this is cheating no matter what. Now a days with all the social media it is becoming  more common for someone to flirt with someone online. It is important to remember that that a relationship is built on trust and communication. The grass is not always greener on the other side. 

 

In the New Era, November 2013 there is an article called "Is there such a thing as soul mates." This is a great article talking about soul mates to the young adults. If you feel that one person got away do not worry.   President Dieter F. Uchtdorf stated: “I don’t believe there is only one right person for you. I think I fell in love with my wife, Harriet, from the first moment I saw her. Nevertheless, … I don’t believe she was my one chance at happiness in this life, nor was I hers. …"  The most important thing is to treat the person you are with as your soul mate. “… Once you commit to being married, your spouse becomes your soul mate, and it is your duty and responsibility to work every day to keep it that way” (“The Reflection in the Water” [Church Educational System fireside for young adults, Nov. 1, 2009]).

As we go through live it is important to remind faithful to the person you are with at that time. As the person should do the same to you. If you feel that something is wrong it is OK to talk with your partner or someone else that will encourage you and help your relationship.  

I have been with a partner who was not faithful via social media, porn, as well as being with someone else. For me this was very hard. At the time I did not understand why or how.  I put all the blame on myself. However, now that the rose colored glasses have been removed it was not me. I choose to look past any fault that he had. However, that is not healthy for anyone in the relationship. Each person needs to feel validated.  But both have to be willing to improve and work on their relationship. It takes two to tango.